OR: WHY WANNABE FEMNINISTS THAT TRUELY ARE ALL ABOUT THEMSELVES ARE HARMFUL TO SOCIETY.
I'VE GOT ENOUGH of attention whores who call themselves "feminists" and discuss OVER MY HEAD what should be "good“ for me ( as a woman) or what I should be "enraged“ of / about without even taking into concern what I WANT, WHAT I HAVE TO SAY or WHAT REALLY BOTHERS ME!
(Disclaimer: since some did not seem to understand what/ whom I was referring to. I obviously said "wannabe feminists" to describe a small but loud group of people that only use feminism to promote themselves. I was looking for a word to not become needlessly insultive, so I chose "wannabe" to point out how they are fake. Those fakes are to differ from people who really work on helping society when it comes to feminism and/ or gender equality, which from my point of view affects every gender, not just women.)
Today I witnessed another one of these derailed discussions which basically resulted in people arguing about what we should feel offended about.
They were talking about an online advertisement for Pizza that showed the photograph of a woman's face to promote their shop.
The problem to me was not so much the advertising campaign, but that those people where so busy with wanking about what awesome feminists they are, that most, if not all comments that were made by women, who actually wanted to talk about the initial subject, got ignored.
Instead everyone could see long comment strands of wannabe feminists generally abusing the topic to make themselves look like heroes.
You could compare it to two people standing next to a river where someone is drowning. The person drowning is screaming for help, but the two wankers are so busy DEMONSTRATING TO EACH OTHER what awesome life savers they are, that they COMPLETELY FORGET ABOUT THE PERSON REALLY IN NEED and so this person DROWNS.
The problem with examples like the lady's face is, that it is called to be sexist because she is brought in connection with tasty things (Pizza),
and we would have to define now if this is actually offensive, or if the author of mentioned post was only fishing for clicks/ comments.
Further on this example can easily seem pulled out of the hat because 1. we do not know if the picture changes once the page gets refreshed (this usually happens on German websites for food) 2. tasty can also refer just to Pizza. Most people (no matter what gender) seem to be focused on the food mainly when looking for it, than on the person pictured there... (At least I am really striving for a Pizza right now. XD) So since they are already about to buy something from this shop, the shop doesn't really need any additional "sex sells" mechanism in order to "convince" people to stay with them.
However, eventhough posting the picture with the asian woman would have been a lot more obvious and surely a lot more easy to understand, one can of course complain about the portrait shown on the left. Under the "right" circumstances it can be seen as offensive. And it is free to them to see it as such. So that is not the problem.
The problem is the behavior of the people involved who demonstrated through their actions that they were fake.
They were not interested into the women who showed up and whom they claimed to "protect". They were not interested into those who asked questions that would have helped everyone else to learn more about the subject. They were not interested into those who posted links to related articles so everyone could learn.
All they were interested in was finding someone who would be dumb enough to mention, how they found the portrait example a little too over the top. This does not mean that those people are against feminism per se. It only means that they would have more understanding why someone would think the asian bikini woman was offensive, than the portrait showing just a smiling woman.
So once somebody came in who looked even remotely like he would put critique onto the entire thing, he was forcefully pushed into a corner. Because finding a bad guy to demonstrate how needed our heroes were was more important, than engaging into the parts of the discussion that were actually meant to educate and share information/ knowlege.
All he wrote was a suggestion to contact the company. Because he was a man, what he said was wrong automatically. Some comments later a woman said the same thing and it was suddenly the right thing to do. Their reaction was based on his gender, and on demonstrating why they were needed to fight for "us" (women) rather than on actually engaging a useful discussion.
This is how you can quite easily spot a "wannabe". Their fighting becomes more important than actually sharing education.
When will any of those WANNABE FEMINISTS stop abusing this subject for the sake of self promotion?
It pisses me off that when something really bothers me, I cannot really discuss it anymore because everyone is already so annoyed by the screaming for attention of those wannabe feminists. Wannabes who care about themselves and about being seen and getting attention more than about what would really help the person in question!
So what does bother me? And what is my opinion?
Well, here comes my personal opinion.
And for the record: I don't think that I am brainwashed, and I don't think that my husband is sexist just because he doesn't write about feminism on his facebook wall each day. The way he is treating me and everyone around him already shows what "real feminism“ in that sense means. It doesn't need a facebook wanker to help women!
Personal opinion continued:
On attached example we see 4 pictures of advertisements and 1 that I am not sure of if it is real propaganda or a parody.
Speaking about the 4 advertisment images, all 4 are put in contrast to each other. First comes the Pizza advertisement.
The woman on the left one is a woman enjoying Pizza. As a woman I might even go so far as to identify with her and think "Hey, she is happy! This must be some great Pizza.“ She is neither naked nor lying on top of the Pizza, so I do actually not mind what I am seeing there.
The "asian weeks“ example is a different one, however. I guess one can clearly see the difference. On the left, we actually see the woman's face, on the right, she is reduced to her body.
So my personal opinion in this case is, if those people had actually argued about the picture on the right, I'd been completely with them. That they chose the left one made them look too much like attention whores, which probably was more to their disadvantage.
Let's take a look at the "weg.de" pictures below now.
Those were placed next to each other this summer and I took photographs of them. Man and woman are directly compared to each other because both adverts were shown next to each other, too. The man is depicted relaxing on the beach while of the woman all we see is her ass and a lewd headline.
Do I have to say more?
Now WHERE would be the difference between showing a woman's face and a woman's ass I ask you? Do I have to be offended about everything lately just because it is hip and cool?
Do I have to condemn the heforshe idea because it supposedly excludes all the other possible sexes and therefore is „binary“? Or should I see it for an attempt to have everyone work together?
Fighting for something is OK.
And of course I, too, have faced problems connected to sexism before, and of course I am lucky that I was born in a rich country, and OF COURSE whenever I get in contact with old stereotypes (like that propaganda picture) and badly "written" hollywood movies, I am annoyed.
The thing just is: The entire thing is a little more complicated and complex than that.
Men fighting over what should be good for us women without actually really LISTENING to us is as harmful to us as everything they claim would be harmful for us.
Women fighting about all that they want without listening to men and paying no attention to their fears and feelings is WRONG the same way.
And wannabe feminists abusing that subject to get THEMSELVES GETTING PROMOTED is the least helpful thing at all!
Those kinda people are not getting "attacked“ because they are feminists, or because they are fighting for a minority, but because everyone can see that THOSE CERTAIN individuals are only abusing feminism to gain clicks (attention), and money.
They are not about us, they are all about themselves, and they abuse women to gain attention and money. They are not much better than those they are constantly attacking for being sexist and they destroy the work of real feminists out there who don't even dare using this word anymore, because it has been so poisoned lately by those fakers!
I COULD HAVE EASILY PLAYED THE FEMINISM CARD, TOO:
Not too long ago I made this parody of Big Boss. It was featured on Kotaku, The Escapist, on Reddit, and basically all over the internet.
When this painting was created, I actually had no idea what huge fights are currently going on on the internet when it comes to games. I have been creating parody images featuring the MGS realm for about 12 years now, however, none of them had ever gotten huge attention, because "times where different". So knowing this game saga pretty well, I was mainly meaning to say "Hey Kojima, knowing your humor it would be funny to have this outfit as a wearable option for him in the game. Make a stupid joke... you know something like the 'Raikov' statement or something like this."
(Let me add here for those who are not familar with the MGS realm: Being able or even forced to play naked MALE characters is nothing new in this series.
Sometimes it really helps to get educated properly about something first before complaining about it.)
However, as this went viral and I received more and more inquiries it started to dawn on me that something had changed within the gaming world, and this is when I started to discover this current... "war" going on.It would have been easy to piggyback and play the feminism card. Say that I got "attacked" by people disagreeing with this outfit displayed on a man because I was a woman.
The thing is: MY GENDER IS IRRELEVANT once it comes to this entire discussion in this case.
And it is funny enough that most people actually discussed the size of his pack. (And how I supposedly designed it too small. XD)1. It is a piece of art, it stands for itself.
2. I am actually a fan and am really playing those games, so piggybacking the feminism card would make me one of those wannabe feminists who abuse the debate to get attention.
3. Just a very very small number of people actually became insultive over that. I know that because I have been a part of the MGS fandom myself. I know their way of talking and I am familar with its insiders and jokes.
4. As a woman, I do not feel insulted by that because I know that it has nothing to do with my gender. It has something to do with the game and the jokes being displayed within it.
And further on, the year is 2014. If they don't want to see a man in tights then it is their right to say that. By no way does this automatically also mean that they wish to insult me.
As much as I am free to express whatever I want in the year of 2014, so are they.
Making a statement about one thing does NOT MEAN having to automatically censor the other!
Which leads me to 5: ACTUALLY PLAYING and therefore knowing the games one is talking about would be VERY HELPFUL in order to decide if you want to feel offended or not.
ESPECIALLY if you call yourself a JOURNALIST or a well followed individual who is writing long opinion pieces.
(This does not exclude you from having an opinion, just be aware that you are making yourself very easy to attack in reagrds to the "you have no idea" comments once you seem to come around the corner as someone who judges based on prejustices. (this applies to nearly every subject by the way. ))
What is happening right now is like reading the first 20 pages of a book, watch only 10 minutes of a movie, or listen to only the beginning of a speech, and judge the entire thing based only on only that part. This is very comparable on judging another person mainly based on prejustices.
This sort of discussion is helping noone because it is lacking facts and empathy for each other.
It is doomed to fail.
I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT THE GTAV
(Because one can never rant enough XD)
Do I think all gaming developers are assholes? Do I fail to see the lacking parody in, for instance, games produced by Rockstar?
No and nope.
Because I actually bothered PLAYING THE ENTIRE GAME (GTAV, multiplayer INCLUDED) instead of only looking at it for 5 minutes and then only using the bits that could be used well to promote "me“ and my image as a wannabe feminist.
"But I don't have to play the entire game to form an opinion, it is too time consuming anyways."
"And I am a slow reader. Do I go about and write huge opinion pieces about books I haven't read? What would people think about my credibility if I did that?"
See it like that: Once you actually spend time with something to see it through, you are helping your cause, because you can "shut up" all those people easily who claim that you have no idea what you are talking about. It also helps to undermine that you aren't abusing feminism to promote yourself, but that you are really one of those who have something to say and want to actually help people.
Yes it bothered me a little that Michael's family was all so dumb.
However, notice: They were DUMB AS A WHOLE. Not just the women. His son.... don't get me started! What an idiot!
If this weren't parody in a way, if it actually were portraying the average american family, then we'd seriously have a lot more problems to talk about than only the part showing the women. Honestly.
SO TO WRAP THIS UP:
I am a woman (yes) and I am grown up. And no, I am not brainwashed by the male society.
I actually had to fight a lot because the business I decided to work in, and the hobbies I have, are dominated by men.
Ironically in most cases it were NOT THE MEN I had to fight with. In most cases it were entities like family, especially the female members, (you are not supposed to have a computer, you are not supposed to play games, you are not supposed to draw action scenes, and so on, blablabla) and people who were yet too young and/ or immature to understand that a girl might have her own head. Men usually respect people with skills and they tell you bluntly, without any hidden meaning underneath the original message, what they actually want from you. I like that about men. Yes, they "lack" empathy here and there and they tend to be childish at times. However, constantly fighting them about this might put you into playing mother for them - which I personally hate. So I rather talk to them and see how we can solve things together instead.
What I consider a lot more of a problem is what some people call "the pink discrimination".
It is related to how we raise and treat girls and what we encourage them to do. It is something we have to work on together, as parents, and as people.
And that means that this equality you are looking for can only work once we stop fighting each other.
Instead of putting movements like heforshe under critique for being "binary", and gain some clicks because you said someting arousing about there being "more than two genders", ask yourself, dear wannabe feminist, what happens to men, no matter what gender they currently might have, now a days who actually want to support women by leaving the classic ways?
For instance: How easy is it, society wise, for a man to stay at home while the woman goes to work?
The couple (BOTH!) will receive a lot of weird commentary for society. The woman will be called a bad mother because she is leaving her children, the father will be called a loser because he is staying at home instead of working. (There are some excellent documentaries around this.)
OR let's imagine a gay couple. What problems would they face?
So, to come to an end of this rant, this is why I need no wannabe feminists deciding for me what I should or should not feel offended about.
Because those kind of people, that truely are only about themselves, are abusing women for their goals just the same as the "sexists" are.
They are derailing everybody's attention from the real problems and then real victims drown unnoticed.